Optimism – that evanescent ability to find hope and joy in the midst of suffering, to not just accept the pain of your reality, but to find the gift in it. Are some people just naturally happy? Is optimism encoded in our individual DNA? Why do some folks manage to find joy in the worst of circumstances while others, in the best of circumstances, find only misery?
I can’t say that Michael J. Fox answers any of these questions, but he does make some excellent points about making choices and finding what works in your life rather than bemoaning what doesn’t. His doc, Michael J. Fox, Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, airs tonight on ABC at 10:00 p.m., and it is poignant, exhilerating, thoughtful, and, okay, sappy – but in a good way.
About 20 years ago Fox, as you probably know, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, a degenerative brain disorder that will most likely eventually kill him. But not until it has slowly robbed him of more and more muscle control. Fox, who is best known for his work in such major hits as TV Shows Family Ties and Spin City, and the Back to the Future trilogy of movies, finally went public with his diagnosis eight years ago and retired from acting to work as a patient advocate, founding a foundation to help fight his disease. He is married to actor Tracy Pollan and the couple have several kids.
It’s one of those rare Hollywood marriages that seems unusually stable. Obviously, these two have more than the usual challenges, what with Fox’s disease. But the way Fox talks about Pollan in the special and how she has supported and cared for him, it just brings tears to my eyes, it’s so sweet.
I think the thing that makes the doc work so well is that Fox is pretty upfront about his situation and the fact that it’s not a lot of fun. But he doesn’t dwell on it. Instead, he looks at the gifts his disease has given him. The point of the film is to look at how people can be happy not just in spite of their circumstances, but within those circumstances.
Fox visits the nation of Bhutan, a country committed to the happiness of its citizens, and what they’ve learned about building happiness. Fox spends time with Bonnie Hunt in Chicago’s Wrigley Field, talking about being a Cubs fan and finding optimism in a team that hasn’t won the World Series in over 100 years. My beloved friend Dave was a Cubs fan, so I know whereof Hunt speaks.
There is a little bleeped language – there are shots of Fox working with actor Dennis Leary on Leary’s show Rescue Me, and Leary’s ability with cuss words is legendary. But beyond that, the show is utterly family-safe. It is better for older kids simply because the younger ones might get a little too antsy. But it is one of those wonderful examples of what TV can be at its best.
Too often we get all hung up on how bad things are – and things are pretty durned bad economically these days. Or we shut our eyes and insist that everything is wonderful when it isn’t. But Fox reminds us that we, as humans, have the capacity to find dignity in our suffering, even as we do everything we can to relieve it in others. That just because life is hard at times, there is grace in that.
Which is an important thing to remember when you’re a parent because some of us get so worried that we’re going to warp our kids by denying them things they want but don’t need. Or by letting them fail. Actually, it’s the exact opposite. We grow strong, healthy kids by saying no and letting them deal with the consequences of their bad decisions. And we love them, endlessly, fully, because they are our kids and they need the kind of hope and optimism made possible by that kind of unconditional love.
Anne Louise Bannon
Your Family Viewer