Not too long ago, I was thinking about writing up a film for this blog, but decided against it because the opening scenes were far too violent – and unnecessarily so.
Why do I say unnecessary? Well, just because there are some violent scenes in a movie or show, that doesn’t mean that the overall program is violent in nature. The classic example, of course, is the film Schindler’s List, about how businessman Oscar Schindler rescued hundreds of Jews from a concentration camp during World War II by using them as labor in his factory. It’s an incredibly violent film and the story really doesn’t have the same impact without seeing what the Nazis did to the Jews at the time. But I don’t know anyone who would suggest the film preaches or encourages violence in others.
And what constitutes violence? What about animals behaving according to their nature, such as lions running down and killing a gazelle? There’s death involved, caused by a purposeful attack. But the lions do things like that because that’s how they eat. They don’t kill for fun. It’s their nature to hunt, so that’s what they do. Does that count as violent behavior?
It’s important to think about these things because when we, as parents, are trying to figure out what’s appropriate for our kids to watch, there’s a lot of stuff to sift through. What makes one show unforgiveable and another acceptable, even though maybe both end with the same number of bodies?
There are tons of studies, and it seems pretty obvious that too much screen violence isn’t good for anyone. If that’s all you’re looking at, no duh, you’re going to view violent behavior as more positive, or even end up falling into a sense that the world is filled with cruelty and violence. Especially if you’re foregoing normal social contact for watching violent media and playing violent games.
But that’s an extreme. And I’m sorry, the other end of the spectrum, extreme non-violence, is pretty boring. You’ve got to have some conflict or you end up with Special Agent Oso, in which a lost letter becomes a crisis sufficient to call in a special agent. Yes, I know it’s for little kids, but puh-leeze. At some point, little ones have to get some perspective on the world and making everything a crisis isn’t going to do it.
So what do we, as thinking caring parents do? First off, I think we start by looking at what worries us about violence. In my case, I worry about the hardened heart and cruel world syndromes. Cases of folks being inspired to shoot up malls are extremely rare, and if they weren’t, we would have never survived the 1970s, when TV was extremely violent and the bad guy never came in alive.
But I can certainly see kids having a harder time developing compassion and an easier time of developing fears about the outside world and the unknown by watching too much violent television. So when a show is violent, I have to look at who’s committing it and why. Is it fantasy violence, in which the cartoon character falls off a cliff and bounces back? Or there’s lots of shooting and no one dies?
The second step is moderation. How much of what your kid watches is violent in nature? All of it? The odd show here and there? I’m not going to worry about a kid who has one action adventure show on her watch list, especially if I’m there watching it with her. A kid who wants to watch nothing but, I’m going to find some alternatives to add to the mix.
Finally, watch with your kids and talk to them about what they’re seeing. Ask them why they think someone shot up someone else. Ask them how they might resolve a similar situation peacefully. And lead by example. If all you’re watching is shoot ‘em ups when the kids aren’t around, they’ll catch on. Also, develop non-violent habits and language. Don’t joke about hurting and killing people or pets. You don’t want to get sappy. Yuck. But you don’t want to glorify hurting others, either.
Violence is a tough issue and there is far too much of it on TV these days. But like a lot of everything else, it also comes in a lot of shades of gray, and it’s up to us to decide which shades work for our individual families.
Anne Louise Bannon
Your Family Viewer
