My husband was right. The National League Championship Series starts tonight on TBS at 8:07 p.m. – which is when the first pitch is thrown. The endless chatter will start much sooner. Note to self – do not drive anywhere near Dodger Stadium for the next two weeks.
Which oddly, brings up a short interview I did with Dr. Kathleen Cuneo, the founder of Dinner Together, LLC. Cuneo is a psychologist who has been working with families for over 20 years, and founded Dinner Together when she noticed that more and more families were having serious problems having dinner together.
Which is not good because kids who eat together with their families routinely report less problems in school, better eating habits and far fewer problems with drugs, early sex and other negative behaviors. To the best of my knowledge, no one knows if the eating together is the actual cause of all these benefits or if it’s just a related to the fact that families that eat together are the kinds of families that produce kids with fewer problems to begin with or what. I mean we keep seeing studies that make the dinner/good for kids connection, but I haven’t seen or heard of too many that establish the dinner part as the reason why it’s good.
But I do know this. Eating dinner together is an excellent way to teach manners, to build communication skills (including parental listening skills), and general consideration for others.
What does this have to do with TV? A lot. For one, the tube is all too often an always on source of noise and distraction in households. It also becomes a barrier to communication and togetherness, especially when everyone has his or her own TV. Why learn to cooperate when you can storm off and watch your own TV? On the more positive side, dinner time together also creates a platform to talk about what the family saw on TV the night before and builds those cooperation skills as everyone decides together what they will watch after the dishes and/or homework are done.
I get it that it’s pretty hard to make dinner together work in today’s distracted and crazed world. Cuneo put it perfectly when she wrote: “I think that parents don’t have as many meals with their children as they could for a variety of reasons. Often it’s due to scheduling issues, whether it’s work or kids’ activities. Sometimes it’s related to unpleasant experiences at past family meals due to the children’s behavior or picky eating. Sometimes it’s because the parents’ lack organizational skills to pull off a family meal, which requires planning, thought, and scheduling with regard to both the food and the people.”
The good news is that these are all things that can be overcome and Cuneo lists some options here on her blog. I also find that starting with Sunday dinner can be a good option, since most folks are home on Sundays and having the afternoon off to cook makes it a lot easier.
As for having the tube on during dinner, Cuneo does point out that some studies show that families do seem to derive many of the same benefits even with the TV on. But, as Cuneo put it, “I don’t recommend eating together on a regular basis with the television on. I think the television can be a distraction and barrier to tuning into, connecting with, and talking to the people with whom you are eating. However, I don’t have any problem with, as you say, “occasionally breaking the rules.” In my family, we are more likely to do that during some sort of playoff sports event.”
Which brings me back to the game tonight. The Phillies are playing the Dodgers at home, and the Angels are playing the Yankees in Anaheim tomorrow night for the American League Championship Series on Fox. In other words, it’s going to be all baseball, all the time around here. Soup is healthy, easy to make and it’s easy to eat in front of the TV.