The Non-Review for Mayday!, Wednesday, Mar. 3

This is not a review because I didn’t get through the whole show.

I was all set to review Mayday! Bering Sea, airing at 9 p.m. tonight on the Discovery Channel. And like I noted above, I couldn’t finish it. It’s not that the show is bad. Alas, the reverse is true. It does its job a little too well.

On Easter Sunday, 2008, the Alaska Ranger, a professional fishing trawler, took off for a 12-day fishing mission. This being Alaska and all, it hit some seriously nasty bad weather, then in the middle of the night, it started taking on water. A lot of water. With 47 people aboard. And I know from the press notes that not all of them survived.

I know that there were several who did (kind of obvious since most of the talking heads are crew members) and that it was the “the largest and most daring maritime rescue in U.S. history.” I can make some guesses about who didn’t because of who isn’t talking in the movie.

But there I am, about a quarter of the way in, the first life raft has failed, the Coast Guard is a good hour away, and everyone is in their survival suits looking grimly at each other and… I just couldn’t take anymore.

Okay. I know I’m a weenie. But this is a good thing. If I can’t hack it, your kids probably can’t, either.

And if you do watch it, how many did they get out of the water? I really want to know. I just don’t want to watch it to find out.